


To Hope for Honey from a Wasp

by Sica520



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Bee Miraculous, Character Study, Chloe has been trying, Chloe is trying, Chloe wants to be good, Emotional Manipulation, Episode: s03 Miracle Queen (The Battle of the Miraculous Part 2), Perfectionist Complex, Self Loathing, You were doing so well don't regress now, and feelings of not being good enough, but she is very bad at it, cuz that's basically Hawkmoth M.O, is tired of trying, learned helplessness, references to bad parenting, self doubt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-28
Updated: 2019-11-28
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:15:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,260
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21592132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sica520/pseuds/Sica520
Summary: Chloe had been trying to be better. She wants to be good. But she's very bad at it. She wants to be loyal, but she is slipping. She wants to be loved, but she knows she's hated. She wants to be special, but she can only stand out for the wrong reasons. She wants to be perfect, but she is regressing fast. Maybe she can't change. Maybe it's foolish and pointless to expect anything other than the heartless spoiled brat everyone sees. As foolish as it is to expect honey from a wasp.(Aka What led Chloe to make the decision she made during the season 3 finale)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 13





	To Hope for Honey from a Wasp

**Author's Note:**

> Chloe. Chloe. Chloe. You were doing so good. Ugh. Why did she have to go back to season 1 Chloe? Well I refuse to accept that there's no character development. Regression is fine for a character, it sometimes works really really well if it's done right and we are given a clear reason. So I wanted to puzzle out what I think may have been her motivations and what finally tipped Chloe over the edge. Mostly Cannon, but I did add some more reasons for Chloe to turn against Ladybug because they were there but the show didn't really address them. One thing I think that could undo the progress that Chloe made in Miraculuer is if Chloe knew that Hawkmoth knew Kagami's identity too, because then Ladybugs whole reason of 'oh I can't pick you because your identity is compromised' goes right out the window.  
> Anyway hope you guys like my little introspective fix it fix for Chloe. Now if you excuse me I have to return to my cardboard box where I camp out right outside Zagtoons and beg for spare character development for my children.

Chloe Bourgeois had been called a _villain_ before. Multiple times. As much as she claimed that " _everyone loved"_ her, she knew that they didn't. 

No. They _hated_ her. She knew that. 

"This girl's got no heart," little miss goody two shoes said once.

They called her heartless.

"Chloé is exceptionally mean. She's the worst person I've ever met" She took it all in stride, she had been called worse before, blamed it on jealousy and moved on. Ignoring the fact that there wasn't much to be jealous of in her pitiful life. Jealous of _what_ exactly, her material possessions, her ability to delude herself, her infamous reputation, her zero friends, and absentee parents. 

Chloe is mean? Ha. Marinette was meaner. Miss " _sweet and innocent_ " was always turning everyone against her. Taking everything from her. She has been trying to take Adrien from her. She even once tried to steal Sabrina.

Then there was her mom. Her mom who was never easily impressed. Who never had time for anyone but the _best_ people. Her mother who had taken one look at her stupid classmate's stupid hat and offered everything, the very world on a silver platter, all for the _wrong_ person. For _Marinette_. 

Well, what did she care what Du-lame cheng said about her. 

She didn't care.

So what if everyone, everyone...even her own _mother_ called the baker's daughter exceptional even as she brushed off her own daughter for the millionth time, liked that loser better than her.

All that meant was that they were all losers too. 

She didn't care. 

She didn't need any of them.

She didn't need anyone.

Even Adrien had all but deserted her. He had gotten closer with the rest of the class, and left her behind. Even he had called her mean. Held their friendship over her head to try and force her to be nicer.

She didn't need _him_ either. She certainly didn't need that. 

Besides, she was plenty nice. 

Even he said so. 

Even _Ladybug_ said so. 

Ladybug. 

Who never looked comfortable when she posed with Chloe. Who called her liar and wouldn't listen to her back when Sabrina was akumatized. 

That was first time Chloe became a literal real life super _villain_. 

"Once a villain always a villain," her own cruel laughter reminded her. 

But she had _changed_. She wasn't a villain anymore, she was a _superheroine_. She was the truly amazing and miraculous Queen Bee. 

But she had messed even that up. 

She _caused_ problems, she didn't fix them.

And had become a villain...again. 

But Ladybug had told her that it was okay to make mistakes. Even superheroes weren't perfect. And well...She really was trying...to be _perfect_. 

She could be perfect. 

She _would_ be perfect. 

Then she would finally be _good enough_ , if she was perfect.

If she was _perfect_ then everyone would have no choice but to like her. So she would be perfect. Flawless. Nothing wrong with her. Nothing would ever bother her. She would be perfect. 

No matter what. 

Chloe could convince herself that she was perfect. She was worthy. 

Ladybug had told her she _wasn't_ useless.

That she could get better and fix her mistakes. 

But over and over Ladybug picked others over her. The stupid fox and turtle and others. Ridiculous. Utterly ridiculous. Queen Bee was way better than those lame heroes. It should be just her and Ladybug. BFFs saving Paris. Together. Basking in the glory and gratitude of the lesser citizens. Just like it was when her daddy was akumatized. 

But it wasn't. 

Ladybug didn't ever pick her. 

Ladybug had never returned Chloe's respect. Admiration. Or even friendship. 

How many times had Ladybug slighted Chloe? How many times had Chloe declared she wasn't Ladybug's fan anymore. 

But Chloe always came _crawling_ back. She always forgave her. Because she was _Ladybug_. 

And Chloe was nice, nice enough to forgive the superhero.

But still Ladybug told her that she could _never_ be Queen Bee again. 

But she wasn't serious,...right? 

She couldn't be. 

Didn't she see how Chloe was changing? Getting better? Fixing messes? 

She _was_ changing,.... right? 

At least some... a bit....Right? 

She _was_ different, ....right? 

It was hard work. Ladybug didn't expect her to do it all at once, right? 

So when her parents were akumatized, she knew what this meant. Ladybug would need her again. Just like she did last time. 

They were Chloe's parents. Chloe knew them best. Chloe...cared about them. Maybe even the only one who cared about them. 

She should save them. 

She would save them. 

When Chloe first saw that her Bee signal was unplugged, she was furious.

Who was interfering with official superhero business!? How dare they!

Then Chloe saw Ladybug and that Dragon Hero speed away and leave her _behind_. 

_Again_. 

Then it felt like a sign. A sign and a slap in the face. The signal was useless anyway. Utterly useless.

She would _never_ again be Queen Bee. Ladybug _was_ serious. 

Chloe was useless. Utterly useless. 

She toppled the signal down to the ground. Along with her hopes and dreams. And the pedestal she had placed Ladybug on. 

Then _Hawkmoth_ came. 

As he always came when someone was upset. When someone was weak. When someone was giving up. 

Hawkmoth came and told her she wasn't useless. She was exceptional. She could be someone with his help. He would help her rather than tell her to change and then leave her high and dry. The Butterfly broach was the miraculous of _change_ , as it's wielder Hawkmoth could change people, instantly with no work needed, make them stronger, better, more powerful. She could be Queen Bee again. She could be _special_. She could be in charge.

She could be anything she wanted. 

She could have everything in the world that she wanted. 

"Ladybug and Chat noirs reign has gone on long enough, it's time for Paris to have a new Queen. And the Queen on my chess board is _you_ "

This wasn't the first time Hawkmoth or his partner Mayura had tried to recruit her. 

"Do you enjoy being Ladybug's _servant_? Having to _wait_ for her to _loan_ you a Miraculous? Wouldn't you rather have boundless powers of _your own_?"

She had been loyal last time. And _what_ had it gained her?

She _swore_ she would never join Hawkmoth. He had akumatized her too many times. Made her fight for him. Fight against ladybug. 

He had akumatized Sabrina. Twice. 

He had akumatized her parents. Twice now. 

"You akumatized my parents. If I had my miraculous I'd..."

"You're right," he cut her off. "But I did it for one reason only. So that you would finally realize that Ladybug will _never_ give you the Bee miraculous again. I however, always keep my promises," 

There it was. _Her_ miraculous. Right in his hand. 

All she had to do was take it. It was being offered to her, again. The way it was always meant to be. 

It was _hers_. Why _shouldn't_ she take it? She had never had a problem taking what she wanted before. 

But it was not Ladybug offering it.   
Not this time. This time it was indisputably _wrong_ to take it. She knew that. 

"This isn't real!" Hawkmoth was lying. He had to be. "How do you have it?!"

"Try it, and see for yourself," He was waiting and watching for her move. Waited for her response. Let her have the last say. 

_Go ahead and take it._

_No._ She had refused Hawkmoth before, when he had tried to akumatize her for the third time. She fought him off and declared that she was not _his_ villain. She didn't care what everyone _said_ about her. Because she knew that. 

She is _not_ a villain. 

She hadn't answered Mayura's questions. She didn't want to talk to Hawkmoths either. It had taken everything she had to remain loyal last time, and Chloe knew that if she listened to Hawkmoth's silver tongued words her resolve was going to fail. 

That's what _he_ did, he made you _doubt_ everything, he made you believe he was on your side, that you would have what you wanted if you just did him one small favor. She remembers the other times that voice has taken her hostage. 

She can't be that...that _weak_. Not _again_. 

But...

She knew her answers... Even though he was _manipulating_ her, that didn't mean that his words weren't... _true_. Because she was tired of it all. Tired of being forced to eat Ladybugs scraps. Tired of waiting her turn. She had done everything and it still wasn't enough, she still wasn't enough. She wanted a miraculous of her own. She wanted to be Queen Bee whenever. 

She wanted what ladybug had. Because Ladybug was the truth behind every lie she told herself. Ladybug _was_ exceptional. Ladybug was _perfect_. Ladybug really was the smartest, nicest, most amazing girl in Paris. Ladybug really was _loved by everyone_.   
Ladybug was a superhero. And Chloe _wanted_ all that. She wanted to be one too. 

She couldn't be a superhero if she took Hawkmoth's offer. She would only be a _villain._

"Ladybug said she couldn't because my identity wasn't a secret. She said there are stupid rules that superheroes have to follow,"  
If Chloe wanted to be a superhero, she had to follow those rules too. 

But without the Bee miraculous, she _wasn't_ a superhero, so she _didn't_ have to follow their pointless rules.

And since when have villains ever followed the rules.... If she was a villain she wouldn't have to follow the rules. No one could ever tell her what she can or can't do. 

No. She is not a villain. She is a superheroine. 

"Yes, so tell me. I have known you were Queen Bee since the beginning and have I ever come after you?" 

"Yes, you're doing that right now!"

"Really? Am I hurting you in anyway? And even if I was, is _Ladybug_ here protecting you? Like you said yourself if you had your miraculous you would take me down. But you _don't_. So Ladybug left you _alone_ with your identity _exposed_ , _no powers_ , and _no protection_... Besides Ladybug can't even stick to her own rules. I happen to know the identity of the Dragon hero she chose instead of you,"

"You're lying!" But lying wasn't usually Hawkmoth's way, he would twist the situation sure but he never outright _lied_. Just like he wasn't lying when he told her that the Bee miraculous was real. 

"I am not. Do you remember the first time the dragon hero appeared in the press. For one fight only. Ms. Tsurugi was my champion and Ladybug used her own daughter as a way to claim victory. Granting the young Kagami with the dragon miraculous. A captive turned miraculous holder. But again in doing so she _lost her secret identity_ and removed that power from the game entirely...If Ladybug really did follow all her rules, that is,"

"I don't know what fight your talking about. I have better things to do than keep up with every single attack in Paris," she said dismissively as if she _didn't_ obsessively keep track of the Ladyblog, as much as she hated to admit it, and _wasn't_ Ladybugs biggest fan. "I don't believe you!" Now who is the one who is _lying_. 

"Believe what you want. After all _you_ would know better than anyone. You're Ladybug's _greatest_ fan. You've _helped_ her. You've _trusted_ her... and _what_ has she done for you in _return_?" 

Ladybug had...betrayed her. 

So maybe she _didn't_ want to be like her anymore. 

You can't count on heroes. 

Just like she couldn't count on friends.

_What_ friends? Adrien had chosen their stupid classmates over her. And Sabrina was...Only putting up with her behaviour to get something. 

No, you can't count on "friends"

Or parents. 

Or _anyone_. Really. 

So she wouldn't be a hero anymore. Because heroes weren't really any better than everyone else. 

Even heroes make mistakes. 

Then heroes _weren't perfect_. 

Heroes weren't infallible. 

Then what was the _point_?

She _didn't_ want to be a hero anymore. 

...

....

She could be a _villain_. 

...

  
No. She _didn't_ want to be a _villain_.

She didn't want to be this _broken_. This _weak_. This _flawed_. This _imperfect_. To give in _again_. To give in to the manipulative monster before her. To let him turn her into something wicked again...She had proven once that she could refuse. She had always been opinionated and stubborn. _No one_ could make her do something she didn't want to do. And She. Did. Not. Want. To. Be....

A _villain_. 

But he _wasn't_ forcing her this time. He was _asking_ her. Holding out one of the powerful miraculouses that he had been trying to get his hands on for years, and _offering_ it to her...  
...this time it would be her _choice_ to be a villain. 

Maybe being a villain is really all she's good for. The only thing she can do. 

She would be the _perfect_ choice for a villain. 

"That girl is worse than Hawkmoth," 

What would her classmates think. 

She doesn't care. 

"At least half the city has gotten akumatized because of her!"

She had never made a very good hero, but being a villain?...Well she was always very _good_ at that. 

"Once a villain, always a villain"

People really don't change. Do they? 

No they don't. 

...But to join up with Hawkmoth, would she really sink that low? 

She had tried and tried. She was tired of trying. She wasn't good at trying. At changing. 

It was exhausting. It was hard. It was... Pointless....It was useless. Utterly _useless_.

It wasn't as if her changing was even working.   


Ridiculous. Utterly ridiculous. To think she would go this far. She was essentially throwing her lot in with a terrorist. 

But...she thought of everyone she had _already_ hurt. Already caused to be akumatized. Who's to say she hadn't _always_ been on his side. 

Besides, what was the point of being the " _good guy_ " the " _hero_ " of being " _nice_ " if it didn't get her anything? 

She had always gotten everything she wanted through cruelty and being the " _exceptionally mean_ " " _heartless_ " " _villain_ ". 

Chloe could be _perfect_ at being a villain.

She just wanted everything handed to her on a silver platter, was _that_ so wrong? Was that so " _evil_ "? Can't she just get everything she wants? 

When someone held in the palm of their hands everything and handed it to her, why on earth _shouldn't_ she take it? 

What is there to stop her now? 

" _Nothing_ , she couldn't care less about me! She's irrelevant. Utterly _irrelevant_." Hawkmoth's smile served to remind her just what she was doing. 

"But first," she stopped a moment. "I want you to deakumatize my parents" The last two people Queen Bee will ever be responsible for saving.

"Anything you say My Queen" _My_ Queen. She really was _his_ queen now. 

_Hawkmoth's_ Queen.

He called her Queen, so why did she feel like _he_ was the one in charge? _He_ was the one who's perfect plan was all going flawlessly. She was the one who had given in. 

"Your Majesty please" Pollen tried to reason with her. 

"Silence! You will speak only when spoken to"  
She had been called a villain multiple times. Over and over again. But she never _felt_ more like one than she did as she watched the little bee kwamii shrink back. 

Pollen had always treated her with utmost _respect_. Told her she was made to rule when needed, to fly high, to sting when provoked, and above all to _protect the hive_. A Queen's most important duty is to her hive. 

Chloe was betraying her hive. She knew that. 

She wasn't a bee anymore, she was a wasp. 

Bees are helpful. They pollinate the beautiful flowers, work tirelessly for the benefit of the hive, and produce wonderful sweet honey. 

Wasps don't help flowers grow. They don't make anything wonderful. They just sting. And bite. And swarm. 

There is no harmonious job that she is called to do. She exists just to cause pain. 

Well it was their own fault. Paris...The Hive _hated_ her. So why should she care about it?   
Chloe _hated_ the hive back. 

"Pollen, Buzz on" the transformation didn't even feel the same. She knew Pollen wasn't on her side anymore, but even still she would obey her queen. 

It didn't feel right being Queen Bee. 

Fine. No more Queen Bee. 

Ladybug was right when she said that Chloe will never be Queen Bee again. 

So let her change to be someone new. 

A _villain_. 

The akuma wasted no time in coming to her. _Changing_ her. She's going to be _perfect_. This transformation was _different_ too. She didn't lose her mind. This time it was her choice and everything else she did would be her choice. No more excuses.

She will be perfect...When the transformation is complete. A butterfly emerging from the cocoon. She feels herself getting stronger, better, more powerful.

The Queen of Miracles.

Let those pathetic ' _good guys_ ' come for her she is more than capable of taking them down. She will reign forever. 

Everyone is right about her, she _is_ a villain.

Now and forever. 

She won't ever change. She's the worst person in all of Paris. And she _likes_ it that way. Because what does she need _friends_ for? As if she even wanted to be around _losers_ and _peasants_. 

_No one_ likes her. _No one_ wants her around. 

That's _fine_. The commoners can complain about her rule all they want. But she is the _Queen_. She hates to break it to them, but she's not going anywhere. This is _her_ city. 

The city that _hates_ her.

So what?

Let it hate her.

She doesn't _need_ or _want_ their love. She doesn't need or want Ladybug's _approval_. She doesn't need or want her classmates _friendship_. 

She glaces to her side and feels a sinking feeling as Hawkmoth's approval courses through her like fire. 

_Look who you've sided with._

She doesn't _care_. She _doesn't..._ care. 

She's just a spoiled brat who always gets what she wants. A shallow little girl who will stoop to any level and hurt whoever she needs. Someone who has never understood the word " _no"_. Who has never had anything that she wanted but couldn't have. 

_Well now you will get what you want. Is it worth it? Does it feel good?_

...

_Yes. Yes it is. Yes it does_. 

This power couldn't possibly feel bad. Getting what you want is _always_ worth it. Worth _losing everything_. Not like she had much to begin with. Worth hurting other people. What did she care about others? She wasn't them. 

_How_ could she even... _Why should_ she...Why _would_ she care about anyone but herself? 

She _doesn't_ care. 

She _doesn't_ care. She _doesn't_ feel guilty about what she's doing. She _doesn't_ hate who she is choosing to be. She _doesn't_ want to be good. She _doesn't_ hold out hope that one day people will actually _want_ to be around her. 

No. In order to feel any of that she would have to have a _heart_. 

And... she has been told... She knows...everyone is right....she doesn't. 

_She has no heart_. She doesn't want to change. She _enjoys_ being a villain.

It's all she's good at. 

She made her choice.

Queen Bee is _gone_. Chloe will _never_ be Queen Bee again. She will _never_ be a _hero_ again. 

She's a _villain_. 

Bow before the Evil Queen.


End file.
